Tuesday, October 27, 2009
last night
last night i went to an event at a member of my church's house. i was amazed at how fancy it was. along with fancy crystal-like glasses, the silver ice bucket had a pair of tongs to grab the ice with. the furniture was Victorian in style. with the curved edges and claw feet. at diner we were served on what i suppose was china. i had to wait for someone else at my table to eat first to see what fork to use. there were three, one for salad, one for diner, and one for dessert. at my house when we have people over we serve soda in plastic glasses. then we put out a bag of pretzels. at diner we only have 1 fork, less dishes. the guests use the same fork for their salad, diner and dessert. our silverware is stainless steel and theirs were probably silver.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
yesterday
yesterday was a long day, very long. it started about 5:30 am, when my sister and i got up so we could get her back to Atlanta by 8:30 am. my sister fell asleep on the way up. i stayed awake, listening to music and talking to my dad, who was driving. we got to Atlanta without much trouble, until we got off the interstate that is. my dad turned the wrong way onto peachtree rd from lenox. as we were driving the wrong way, i realized that every other street in Atlanta has the word peachtree in the name. anyway once we droped janet and her stuff at olgethorpe, we headed back for macon. we got on i-75 south at just after 9 am. we drove non-stop to macon, well exept to get a drink in macdonnah. we drove non-stop because i had to be at macon state for my 11 am class. well i walked in the door of my 11 am math class at 10:57. as my dad told me, "i'll get you their before 11, i just can't promise you how much before." so i am living proof that you get on i-75 north just after 6 at get to macon state in time for your 11 am class.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
example essay new and improved
my family
I have often said that my family is crazy. When I say they are crazy, I don’t mean that as an insult. I mean that as the best complement I possibly give. My definition of crazy is not the scary “I’m going to skin you alive, cause you beat me to the bathroom” crazy. My definition of crazy is the fun loving crazy. The kind of crazy that has you doubled over laughing, not always because it is so funny, but because it is so stupid. For instance, when I was a senior in high school, which was two years ago, I had to take a credit make up psychology class, because I didn’t do so well in some other classes and need the extra credit to graduate. Well I had to stay out of school for two days so I could finish the tests to send off to American School, they are who graded them. Well my dad was trying to think of an excuse to put on the note I was to give to my teacher, and said he could put that my grandfather died. This may not seem funny at first, but it may help to know that he was talking about his dad who had died two years before I was born. I thought I would never stop laughing. Oh by the way, I think he ended up saying that I had a 48 hour stomach bug or something like that. The thing is my dad isn’t the only crazy one; we’re all crazy, including me. Well maybe not all of us, I don’t think my one year old cousin is crazy, yet. I say yet because if he stays around our family for much longer he will be.
My mom doesn’t have a lick bit of sense in her head. She one of the funniest people I know. When asked if she has lost her mind, she simply replies, “I’m like the scarecrow; I was never given one in the first place”. For another more specific example, how about the time my mother dressed up as rapper. It was for our church Halloween festival. She even made up a rapper name for her character, Big Mama Woo. Now my mom isn’t what you call the rapper type, she is your average southern American mom. The only similarity I can think of is that they both where jeans and t-shirts. The thing that surprised me is that she really had fun getting into character. She wore some ripped jeans, an oversize t-shirt; I think she had a big red “hoodie” to go over it if she got cold. Then she had some gold necklace that had some sort of large pedant on the end or a thick chain. She also borrowed one of my cousin’s old baseball hats and wore to the side. My mom has used that costume idea several times since. I remember the one year she went to the Halloween party and was a witch, because that year she was working the kitchen and a kitchen witch whose pot was their cauldron. That year several of my friends were disappointed that Big Mama Woo didn’t return. So what did my mom do the next year when she needed a costume for Halloween? Yes, she resurrected Big Mama Woo. I guess once the fan club of Big Mama Woo was born there was nothing anyone could do to kill it.
My grandmother, Mamaw, is the type person who doesn’t think she is funny. Let me tell you, she wrong. If Mamaw puts something up so that she doesn’t lose it, try and ask in about 6 weeks and she won’t have any idea where may be. Then again don’t we all do things like that from time to time? One example I remember that was about a week ago was when Mamaw, who is 94 and has bad eyes, keep in mind, was looking at an old wind up alarm clock and asked my dad if that was the one her cousin had given to him many years ago. He said “No mother that isn’t the one Louise and Frankie gave me; that is one I bought from Fred’s that broke.” Fred’s is a drug store near our house. Then she asked him if she could throw it away. He of course said yes. Then she asked again because her ears, like her eyes, are 94 years old and failing. He gave her the same answer again, only this time he said it a little louder. Then after a couple more times of the same routine, when she asked again, he is slightly frustrated by this time, he replied “YES, you can throw it away; it is a piece of crap.” Then she looked at it to see where it was from and to see where it was made. Then she said “Oh it must have been made in…” then she paused to think a second and asked my dad “Oh David, what’s the name of that Chinese country?” Then he simply laughed and said “China, mother, the name of the Chinese country is China.”
When I asked my sister for something crazy she had done, and she answered “You could just tell them I am the only sane one in the family.” Well, let me say that isn’t true. Yes, my sister is just as crazy as the rest of us. From trying to count one of our friends freckles to dressing up as thing 2 for Halloween, my sister as done some things that might qualify her a spot in the closest insane asylum, as have the rest of us. My sister has been crazy her entire life, why else would she have decided to swallow a rock when she was 4 years old, it was a pebble and she wasn’t hurt at all. My baby sister has always had her own personality, that’s for sure. One Christmas, my dad got a camcorder as a gift. So he went around taping the festivities to see if this new piece of technology actually worked. Well, my sister and I had the idea for him to tape an episode of the “Fluffy and Sally Show”, which we often acted out. Fluffy and Sally were two of our many teddy bears, who were the main characters in the show. The main plot of the show was that Sally and I came from people town, original I know… remember we were only 5 or 6 at the time, to see Fluffy and Janet, my sister, in bear town, yet another original name, to visit. On this particular episode, we decided to have a tea party. Well, my little sis could be a little bossy from time to time, and so when my dad was filming the show, which was only the second time he had used the thing, my sister would yell “CUT!!!!” at the top of her lungs. Then my dad would say “I can’t cut, I don’t know how to stop this dang thing.” My sister continued this demeanor when my dad taped the living room instead of following us into the kitchen. Then once the correct location was figured out, we began the rest of the show. There was a part where she wanted him to film her teddy bear and she screamed, “Do Fluffy, Do Fluffy”. His response was, “which one is Fluffy?” She then said the grey one. Well, this was not help because Fluffy was dark grey, but Sally was light grey.
My family probably belongs in the Milledgeville mental hospital, instead of a three bedroom, two bath house, with a huge magnolia tree in the front yard. Many people ask what it takes to hold a family together. I have an answer to that, laughter. There definitely is a lot of that in my family, and my parents have been together for twenty years. My entire family is crazy from my little sister to my 94 year old grandmother. What about my own personal sanity, you may ask? Well, that is another essay entirely.
I have often said that my family is crazy. When I say they are crazy, I don’t mean that as an insult. I mean that as the best complement I possibly give. My definition of crazy is not the scary “I’m going to skin you alive, cause you beat me to the bathroom” crazy. My definition of crazy is the fun loving crazy. The kind of crazy that has you doubled over laughing, not always because it is so funny, but because it is so stupid. For instance, when I was a senior in high school, which was two years ago, I had to take a credit make up psychology class, because I didn’t do so well in some other classes and need the extra credit to graduate. Well I had to stay out of school for two days so I could finish the tests to send off to American School, they are who graded them. Well my dad was trying to think of an excuse to put on the note I was to give to my teacher, and said he could put that my grandfather died. This may not seem funny at first, but it may help to know that he was talking about his dad who had died two years before I was born. I thought I would never stop laughing. Oh by the way, I think he ended up saying that I had a 48 hour stomach bug or something like that. The thing is my dad isn’t the only crazy one; we’re all crazy, including me. Well maybe not all of us, I don’t think my one year old cousin is crazy, yet. I say yet because if he stays around our family for much longer he will be.
My mom doesn’t have a lick bit of sense in her head. She one of the funniest people I know. When asked if she has lost her mind, she simply replies, “I’m like the scarecrow; I was never given one in the first place”. For another more specific example, how about the time my mother dressed up as rapper. It was for our church Halloween festival. She even made up a rapper name for her character, Big Mama Woo. Now my mom isn’t what you call the rapper type, she is your average southern American mom. The only similarity I can think of is that they both where jeans and t-shirts. The thing that surprised me is that she really had fun getting into character. She wore some ripped jeans, an oversize t-shirt; I think she had a big red “hoodie” to go over it if she got cold. Then she had some gold necklace that had some sort of large pedant on the end or a thick chain. She also borrowed one of my cousin’s old baseball hats and wore to the side. My mom has used that costume idea several times since. I remember the one year she went to the Halloween party and was a witch, because that year she was working the kitchen and a kitchen witch whose pot was their cauldron. That year several of my friends were disappointed that Big Mama Woo didn’t return. So what did my mom do the next year when she needed a costume for Halloween? Yes, she resurrected Big Mama Woo. I guess once the fan club of Big Mama Woo was born there was nothing anyone could do to kill it.
My grandmother, Mamaw, is the type person who doesn’t think she is funny. Let me tell you, she wrong. If Mamaw puts something up so that she doesn’t lose it, try and ask in about 6 weeks and she won’t have any idea where may be. Then again don’t we all do things like that from time to time? One example I remember that was about a week ago was when Mamaw, who is 94 and has bad eyes, keep in mind, was looking at an old wind up alarm clock and asked my dad if that was the one her cousin had given to him many years ago. He said “No mother that isn’t the one Louise and Frankie gave me; that is one I bought from Fred’s that broke.” Fred’s is a drug store near our house. Then she asked him if she could throw it away. He of course said yes. Then she asked again because her ears, like her eyes, are 94 years old and failing. He gave her the same answer again, only this time he said it a little louder. Then after a couple more times of the same routine, when she asked again, he is slightly frustrated by this time, he replied “YES, you can throw it away; it is a piece of crap.” Then she looked at it to see where it was from and to see where it was made. Then she said “Oh it must have been made in…” then she paused to think a second and asked my dad “Oh David, what’s the name of that Chinese country?” Then he simply laughed and said “China, mother, the name of the Chinese country is China.”
When I asked my sister for something crazy she had done, and she answered “You could just tell them I am the only sane one in the family.” Well, let me say that isn’t true. Yes, my sister is just as crazy as the rest of us. From trying to count one of our friends freckles to dressing up as thing 2 for Halloween, my sister as done some things that might qualify her a spot in the closest insane asylum, as have the rest of us. My sister has been crazy her entire life, why else would she have decided to swallow a rock when she was 4 years old, it was a pebble and she wasn’t hurt at all. My baby sister has always had her own personality, that’s for sure. One Christmas, my dad got a camcorder as a gift. So he went around taping the festivities to see if this new piece of technology actually worked. Well, my sister and I had the idea for him to tape an episode of the “Fluffy and Sally Show”, which we often acted out. Fluffy and Sally were two of our many teddy bears, who were the main characters in the show. The main plot of the show was that Sally and I came from people town, original I know… remember we were only 5 or 6 at the time, to see Fluffy and Janet, my sister, in bear town, yet another original name, to visit. On this particular episode, we decided to have a tea party. Well, my little sis could be a little bossy from time to time, and so when my dad was filming the show, which was only the second time he had used the thing, my sister would yell “CUT!!!!” at the top of her lungs. Then my dad would say “I can’t cut, I don’t know how to stop this dang thing.” My sister continued this demeanor when my dad taped the living room instead of following us into the kitchen. Then once the correct location was figured out, we began the rest of the show. There was a part where she wanted him to film her teddy bear and she screamed, “Do Fluffy, Do Fluffy”. His response was, “which one is Fluffy?” She then said the grey one. Well, this was not help because Fluffy was dark grey, but Sally was light grey.
My family probably belongs in the Milledgeville mental hospital, instead of a three bedroom, two bath house, with a huge magnolia tree in the front yard. Many people ask what it takes to hold a family together. I have an answer to that, laughter. There definitely is a lot of that in my family, and my parents have been together for twenty years. My entire family is crazy from my little sister to my 94 year old grandmother. What about my own personal sanity, you may ask? Well, that is another essay entirely.
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